


Monkey Business

by BottleBlonde



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics), Red Robin (Comics), Teen Titans - All Media Types, Young Justice - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Core Four, Established Relationship, Explicit Language, Friendship, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pre-New 52
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-26
Updated: 2018-02-26
Packaged: 2019-03-24 07:48:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13806744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BottleBlonde/pseuds/BottleBlonde
Summary: The mission seemed simple enough: fly to Gorilla City, disable the force field generator, locate Grodd’s hideout and stall his operation long enough so Bruce and the League could arrive.He had a bruiser in Cassie, stealth and swift scouting with Bart and the swiss army knife of destruction that was his boyfriend, Conner. Combining those three with his tactical expertise could do no wrong.Tim figured that the mission would basically be nothing more than overblown field training but once he noticed that the sound of the jet’s engine weren’t loud enough to muffle Conner’s heavy breathing he knew he messed up.“Seriously? Gorilla City of all places and you decided to bring Kon?”





	Monkey Business

**Author's Note:**

> Aaah! I came up with this really dumb idea that seemed brilliant while I wrote it. Sorry in advance!
> 
> (I'll try to keep this updated as constantly as possible, feedback is much appreciated!)

The mission seemed simple enough: fly to Gorilla City, disable the force field generator, locate Grodd’s hideout and stall his operation long enough so Bruce and the League could have time to arrive after the whole situation at New Genesis was settled. 

It wouldn’t take more than three days ,tops. That was basically the equivalent of a high school project time’s worth in superhero standards. The team he assembled was small but effective, the ‘core four’ as Vic called them back during their Titan training days. 

He had a bruiser in Cassie, stealth and swift scouting with Bart and the swiss army knife of destruction that was his boyfriend, Conner. Combining those three with his tactical expertise could do no wrong.

Tim figured that the mission would basically be nothing more than overblown field training but once he noticed that the sound of the jet’s engine weren’t loud enough to muffle Conner’s heavy breathing he knew he was in for more than he gambled for.

“By Hera… would you cut it out already Kon?!” Cassie snapped.

“Whoa Cassie, chill. You know how he feels about monkeys”, Bart quickly intervened. He turned towards the boy of steel. “Breath in and breath out man, it’s cool.”

Conner nodded and did as the speedster recommended. Cassie rolled her eyes and turned back forward towards Tim. “Not to be cynical but, seriously? Gorilla City of all places and you decided to bring Kon?”

Tim, unfazed, continued piloting the craft. “He’s one of, if not the strongest member of the team. Besides he was the most optimal out of our options.”

Cassie stoically looked at the Boy Wonder. “‘Optimal’? What about Jackson?”

“Not enough bodies of water ‘round the area.” He replied back.

“M’gann?”

“Grodd’s mind would overwhelm hers.”

“Kiran?”

“Too unexperienced.”

“Rose?”

“Too unpredictable.”

“Miguel?”

“Today’s his day off.”

Cassie sighed and reclined back. “Fine, just don’t go all Batman on him okay? He really takes things like these to heart.”

Tim quickly turned back to catch a quick glimpse of Kon, eyes shut and inhaling deeply while Bart assisted him. “I won’t.”

\- - -

“Here’s the game plan,” Tim announced while turning to the holographic map. “We’re stationed a couple miles away from what we assume might be the generator’s base. It’s heavily guarded by Grodd’s mind controlled pawns. While going in we need to be cautious and take it out slowly-“

“That’s what she said,” Bart blurted. Both him and Conner chuckled before fist bumping. Tim pretended to ignore them.

“-in order to get the generator down without alerting Grodd of our arrival.” Tim clicked on the generator’s location on the map. “Here’s where it gets interesting.”

The screen now showed satellite footage of the location.

“Bart we’re gonna need you to rush there and let us know how many goons are guarding the station.” Bart smirked and simulated a military salute. “Afterwards Cassie and I will infiltrate the base, I’ll use a sonar disruption device to mess with Grodd’s telepathic connection and free the mind controlled guards while Cassie trashes the generator down to the ground.”

“Seems simple enough,” Cassie added, Bart nodded in agreement.

“What about me though?” Conner asked, almost exasperated.

“Ah… well, you actually have the most, uh… key role on the whole operation,” Tim stumbled. “You’ll stay on the lookout in case the situation gets out of our hands.”

Kon looked almost offended by the comment. “What, so you’re basically making me sit this one out? What the hell Tim?”

“Come on Kon, don’t do all that. You got a vital role! You’re pretty much our… our…” Tim looked towards Bart looking for an answer. The speedster shrugged.

“Secret weapon…” Cassie replied, the relief in Tim’s body was almost palpable.

“Exactly, secret weapon!” Tim blurted out. “We don’t want Grodd knowing we have you near, this is barely the first phase of the mission anyways, why ruin the surprise from the get go?”

Conner, arms crossed and pouty faced, looked at his boyfriend’s attempted recovery. “Psh, fine. It’s not like I wanted to get near those darn monkeys in the first place.”

“Well now that that’s settled, buckle up team. The heat outside’s around the hundred degree mark so dress accordingly.” Tim said as Cassie and Bart headed towards their quarters to suit up.

Conner remained seated, his expression similar to that of a suborn kid. Tim sighed and approached him.

“Don’t be like that Kon… you know I didn’t mean to-“

“Relegate me to be backup? Sure…” Conner replied without even turning towards Tim. “If the tables were turned and we were fighting sentient frog-men you wouldn’t be such an ass…”

Tim approached his boyfriend and wrapped his arms around his back. “You’re right, that would be terrifying and I’d actually thank you for being a considerate boyfriend and not sending me out there to fight them…”

“I’m not afraid of monkeys Tim, I just don’t trust them…” Conner replied, Tim felt his muscles loosen as soon as he hugged him.

“Regardless, I don’t wanna force you to do stuff that you’re not comfortable with,” Tim replied, Conner didn’t feel tense no more. “That’s something Batman would do and… wanna know a secret?” Conner slowly nodded, Tim placed his lips close to his ear. “He’s single for a reason.”

Conner felt his lips go from a frown to a smirk. “Alright smooth talker, you won this one.”

Tim smiled and pecked his boyfriend’s cheek. “I know.”

Conner got up and turned towards him. “I just don’t want to get the special treatment just because… because of us y’know?”

“I get that.” Tim replied. “But you know I would have done the same for Bart or Cassie, right? You guys are my best friends after all.”

“I know.” Conner smiled, he tucked a lock of Tim’s hair behind his ear. “You’re the Boy Wonder, you got everything under control.”

Tim huffed in amusement. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“Although I gotta admit, seeing you get nervous over the whole me-being-mad-a-while-ago thing was kinda, really cute.” Conner said mockingly. “Seeing you loose the whole big, bad bat façade in public every once in a while is the best.”

Tim blushed. “Shut up.”

Conner hugged him, Tim reciprocated. “You smell great by the way, what lotion’s that?”

“Some nectar perfume from Dionysus, allegedly. Cassie got it for my birthday,” Tim replied, Conner sniffed the top of his boyfriends head. “It’s pretty sweet… no pun intended.”

“You’re such a dork,” Conner said, Tim chuckled. “Well, go give those ape hell, Babybird.”

Tim snorted. “Y’know, ever since Damian came into the fold that nickname’s kinda obsolete, right?”

“Nah, he’s a demon. You’re Babybird to me.” Conner affirmed before kissing Tim’s forehead.

\- - -

“I’m counting five on the outside and at least eight inside the base,” Bart said through the communicator. “The place is pretty small though, at least for Grodd’s standards.”

“Did you manage to get by unnoticed?” Tim asked as Cassie flew them both towards their destination.

“Well duh, that’s kinda what super speed is for,” Bart retorted. “Still, after all his encounters with the Flash in the past, one would imagine Grodd would catch a hint and instal some heat sensors or whatever to keep speedsters on check.”

“You know what they say, monkey see, monkey do.” Conner added through his communicator.

“I don’t think that’s what you think it means Kon…” Tim replied. “Anyways, we’re approaching base, Bart monitor the outsides in case any of the gorillas tries to escape. Conner, stay alert in case we need you to intervene.”

“Roger.” Both of them said simultaneously.

“Ready for it?” Cassie asked as they hovered above the base.

“Ready,” Tim answered.

Cassie slowly descended. “It’s kinda weird seeing you rock the old domino mask again by the way, I mean that in a good way though.”

Tim grinned. “Yeah, the cowl was practical but nothing beats a classic.”

As they landed on the base’s roof, Tim proceded to laser an entrance through the roof. Both of them then entered the base.

“Alright, remember the plan. I’ll sonar their senses out of the mind control while you destroy the generator,” Tim added. “In case anything happens just alert us through your communicator.”

“‘Kay, fearless leader.” Cassie replied, giving a playful wink.

Tim smirked, ever since Eddie’s death Cassie under her brief stint as leader of the team she was all business during missions so seeing her loosen up every once in a while was almost cathartic.

As Cassie flew out to get the generator, Tim began setting up the sonar. If his calculations were correct he needed to place the devices on three specific spots to get to all of the gorilla henchmen.

He needed to be extremely nimble and agile to go by unnoticed. Sure, he wasn’t nearly as acrobatic and graceful as Dick or as ridiculously stealthy as Damian but he had the whole situation planned out before even flying the T-Jet to Africa and if he learned anything from working with Bruce it was that tactical planning was just as, if not even more important.

Tim sneaked his way through the base. He managed to place the first two sonars with ease as the areas were mostly empty. The last one appeared to be the real challenge, three gorilla soldiers guarded the area. Tim figured the remaining ones were probably on guard duty near the generator.

The Boy Wonder remained two stories above them, he figured the best way to place the sonar as close to the position he needed it to be would be to grapple his way down slowly to drop it on position.

He took a deep breath and plunged. The hardest part of downward stealth grappling was the precession it needed, the slightest rough movement could mess with the grapple hook’s grip and turn it all to shit.

Tim knew he could have done it had it not been for the immense itch he’d been struggling with ever since he got off the jet. On any other situation he’d just ignore it but he felt it was eating him out, besides how much difference would scratching off an itch could cause? Well, apparently enough.

His grip on the hook loosened enough for him to slip out of it and fall back first into the sight of three angry gorillas three times his size.

“Fuck…” Tim reached for the sonar’s activation device in hopes to still get the sound waves to jam the mind control out of their head but much to his dismay, the impact from the fall jammed it. “Fuck, fuck, fuck…”

The three gorilla soldiers rushed towards him, spears in hand. Although he felt like it Tim didn’t have time to beat himself up, otherwise the gorillas would.

“We’ve been compromised, Wonder Girl proceeded to destroy the generator!” Tim said through the communicator as he pulled out his bo staff. “Kid Flash, come inside and assist her!”

“What about the gorillas?” Bart asked. “Are they out?”

“No, we’re in over our heads.” Tim said as the gorillas surrounded him. He tried his best to guard them off but it was no use as soon as they began plunging him with their spears. Luckily he managed to their blows.

“Tim, do you need me there?” Conner asked.

“Not yet, I’ve got thi-“ He was cut off as soon as one of the gorillas pulled him by the leg and launched him towards on of the bases iron walls. The thud was loud enough to be heard through the communicator, Tim regretting not being able to keep himself from audibly wincing upon impact.

In what felt like seconds, just as the gorillas approached his laying body, Tim could hear loud bangs of crushing metal fill the place. In a flash, he saw the almost heavenly silhouette of Conner flying through one of the walls of the base.

“Keep your stinking paws off him, you damned dirty apes!” Conner said. 

Had it not been for the immense pain on his back, Tim would have rolled his eyes all the way to the back of his head. That Planet of the Apes marathon they had was a mistake.

Last thing he saw before blacking out was Conner manhandling two apes on his own while still looking as confident as ever. A sight for sore eyes but not enough for a sore back.

\- - -

“Mission report?” Batman’s imposing voice asked through the jet’s video communication system. Tim would have figured that after so many years of duty under his wing, Bruce would appear less intimidating as time went by but he didn’t.

“The generator’s down but all of the gorilla henchmen ran away and have probably alerted Grodd of our presence by now.” Cassie announced. “We got into a… situation while on the base.”

An audible sigh followed, that was probably the worst part for Tim. He hated letting people down, let alone his mentor.

“Thanks, Wonder Girl.” Batman replied. “Could I talk with Red Robin?”

“Sure.” Bart answered nonchalantly.

“Alone.” Bruce added.

“Oh… sure.” Bart said as his other two teammates walked away with him.

As soon as the jet’s conference room was empty, Bruce began his interrogation. “What happened, Tim? This is not something I’d expect from an operation with you on the helm…”

“Yeah, neither did I…” Tim replied, while rapidly scratching his head. The itch had gotten worse by the minute. “I guess I took too many chances…”

“You know I have a lot of respect for you and your team but… look I’ve noticed you being less keen on the details ever since you and Conner-“

“This has nothing to do with him…” Tim replied, monotone. “I screwed things up on my own.”

“Well whatever caused this, I’ll have you four stay on the jet for the remainder of the mission. Luckily you managed to take down the generator so that will buy us enough time but Gordd’s gonna amp up the security and we can’t risk any of you getting hurt or pulling another reckless move.” Bruce replied. “Just keep the jet on stealth mode and try not to go further than a five mile radius from it’s current position.”

“Can’t we just fly back to San Francisco?” Tim asked, still scratching his head heavily.

“No, it’s too risky. Gordd’s probably increased aerial security as well,” Bruce answered. “We’ll be out of New Genesis soon. Stay on the lookout and report any type of suspicious activity on the meantime.”

Tim nodded while still scratching his head. “Copy that…”

“And Tim…” Bruce began catching the Boy Wonder off-guard. “Get yourself checked on the jet’s medical unit, you’re scratching yourself way too much. I don’t want you or your team catching any infections.”

He rolled his eyes at the comment, dad Bruce was the worst Bruce. “Okay mom, talk to you later.”

Tim turned off the video communicator and proceded to walk towards the T-Jet’s medical bay. Once out of the meeting room Conner waited form him.

“How did it go?” The Boy of Steel asked.

“You’ve got superhearing Kon, you tell me.” Tim replied dryly.

“Ah come on, it’s not all bad. I mean we could pretty much use the remaining days to have a little African vacation, just the four of us.” Conner said, ever the optimist.

“We’ll see, right now I’m not in the mood though…” Tim continued as he tried to walk past his boyfriend.

“Hey wait up grump, you’re not going anywhere without giving me a hug first.” He pulled Tim towards him. “Let’s turn that frown upside-down.”

“Not now Kon, apparently I’ve got something that might or might not be contagious.” Tim said as he tried to get away. “It’s probably nothing but I don’t want any of you guys to catch anything because of me…”

“Aw come on Tim, you know I’m pretty much immune to most of earth diseases,” Conner replied almost prideful. “Y’know, half kryptonian physiology and all?”

“You’re still half human though, besides I’m tired of this itch.” Tim said before Kon pulled him close again.

“Okay then… a hug and you can go,” He said as he embraced his boyfriend, the Boy Wonder finally giving up to it. As he hugged him the taller boy couldn’t help but noticed something on his boyfriend’s head through his microscopic vision. “Jesus Tim, I think I know what bug bit you…”

“Really? I can’t wait…” Tim replied nonchalant.

“No literally, your head’s filled with bugs.” Conner said.

“Wait what? Are you serious?” Tim asked, the tone of his voice finally showing emotion. “What are they?”

“Uh… I don’t know much about bugs but…” He managed to pull one out and inspect it to no avail. “Bart! Cass! Come over, I need to ask you guys something!”

Both of them arrived immediately noticing Tim’s horrified expression. Tim felt like dying, fear and regret were things he was used to feeling but knew how to keep in check but embarrassment? Not at all.

“What’s going on?” Cassie asked worried. “Did Batman…?”

“Nah, that’s fine I mean we lost the mission but I wanted to ask you guys, what were these called?” Conner asked as he showed them the bug on his hand.

“Great Hera!” Cassie yelped in disgust while getting her blonde hair off her shoulders. “Get that thing away Kon!”

“Tim’s head is full of them but I’ve never really seen them before, are they dangerous?” Conner asked. Bart looked like he was trying his best not to burst out into laughter.

“What are they Conner? Show me it!” Tim pleaded but his boyfriend seemed to ignore him.

“Dude you got it bad…” Bart replied teasingly. “You’ve got a nest of head lice living in your head, man.”

Tim felt as if his stomach was gonna fall right out of his ass.

\- - -

“Come on Tim you’ll have to deal with it at some point!” Conner said from the other side of the door.

Tim sat on the floor of his quarters holding his knees. “Go away Conner!”

“Ah, come on Timmy! We can help you out!” Bart added.

“I said. Go. Away!” Tim exclaimed, he felt his voice crack.

“Alright, we tried to be nice!” Bart announced. In almost a second, Bart vibrated both him and Conner through the quarter’s wall and into the room. “Speed Force for the win.”

“Fine, I’ll leave myself…” Tim said in defeat.

“Not so fast,” Bart said as he rushed to block the door. “We just wanna talk, Timmy Tim.”

Tim glared at the speedster. “… I’m not letting you shave my head.”

“Come on Tim, it’s just hair!” Bart added.

“Why do you guys even care? Kon’s skin’s strong enough that the bugs can’t bite him and you can vibrate them off. Cassie’s the only one who could catch them and she just texted telling me that she won’t get near for the time being…” Tim replied.

“Please Tim, last thing we need is more degrees of separation between the team.” Conner pleaded. “We could come up with another solution but we need you to cooperate…”

“Yeah, plus look at it this way both Kon and I have already shaved our heads at some point and neither of us was bitching about it.” Bart added.

Tim glared back at Bart. “Kon was under mind control and you did it because you felt like it. Plus you have superhuman metabolism, it literally grew back in a week…”

“Ah come on, don’t be such a downer! Besides your hair was getting way too long anyways.” Bart said as as he sped towards Tim and played a bit with his hair. “It’ll make you more aerodynamic.”

“Shut up Bart…” Tim snapped, slapping the speedster’s hand off his hair. “I’m not shaving my head and that’s final.”

Bart shook his head. “Okay I guess the nice approach won’t get us anywhere then…”

In a blink Bart rushed his way out of the room and back again. Before Tim could feel the gust right at his side, Bart was standing in front of him with a lock of his hair on one hand and scissors in the other one.

Conner looked at the scene flabbergasted while Tim could feel the hot rage building up inside. “Bart you piece of-“

Before he could finish the sentence Bart sped his way into cutting another lock of Tim’s hair. “Keep resisting and next time I’m getting the medical clippers from the bathroom.”

“I wanna see you try!” Tim said menacingly.

“Try me, Boy Wonder.” Bart answered back.

“Bart please, don’t he-” Conner began.

In the blink of an eye, a series of rushes of wind filled the room. The sound of the running clippers came along with it, this time Tim managed to duck both the first swipe and the second one but the speedster got him on the third try.

Conner froze at the sight, his best friend had just shaved off a single, clean stripe right down the middle of his boyfriends head.

Although Tim tried his best not to, his emotions got the best of him and he couldn’t hold back the tears any longer. Tim clenched both his fist and his jaw before the inevitable sob came out, he rushed out of the room.

“Jesus, Bart…” Conner looked at his best friend disapprovingly.

“He wouldn't listen to reason Kon.” The speedster blurted out.

“You didn’t have to make him cry though!” Conner snapped.

“Oh for christ sake it’s just hair!” Bart replied in frustration.

“Well apparently that’s all it took for you to make my fucking boyfriend cry!” Conner yelled back angrily. “God you’re such an ass sometimes!”

Conner walked out the room leaving the speedster on his own.

\- - -

“How long has he been sitting there?” Conner asked while both him and Cassie watched Tim sitting on one of the rocks close to the jet.

“Maybe an hour,” Cassie replied. “I still can’t believe you two straight up maimed him. That’s the dumbest things you’ve done and that’s saying something.”

Conner sighed. “I know. In my defence I wasn’t completely onboard with the idea in the first place…”

Cassie side-eyed her ex. “Go ahead, tell Tim that you didn’t mean to and I’m sure he’ll forgive you on the spot.”

“God Cass, no need to be nasty,” Conner answered back, annoyed at his ex’s sarcastic tone.

“I’m just saying, if you’re gonna come up with bullshit excuse don’t expect much back.” The demigoddess insisted. “He was worried about you earlier today, you know? About your whole monkey-phobia.”

Conner sighed and closed his eyes in frustration. “I’m not afraid of monkeys…”

Cassie finally stopped trying to keep it together and grabbed him by the collar of his t-shirt. “The point is Tim’s trying! He tried when you where freaking out about the apes, he tried when you got prissy about not being part of the mission and he sure as hell is trying right now by keeping to himself rather calling the Bat on your ass because as much as he likes to pretend everything’s cool back home, we all know Batman hates your guts.”

“It’s not my fault Batman hates aliens, especially those his sidekicks hook up with!” The Boy of Steel yelled back defensively. “Besides, how the hell was I supposed to know Bart was gonna out-stupid himself and actually give Tim a reverse mohawk?”

“Are you seriously telling me that you doubted for a second that the guy who called himself ‘Impulse’ for years wasn’t gonna pull something like that?” Cassie answered back furiously.

“I just wanted to help Cassie! Do you think I enjoyed watching him cry? He’s my boyfriend for christ sake!” Conner snapped. “What the hell was I supposed to do? Break Bart’s legs to prove a point?”

Cassie sighed. “Well, you can start by apologising. Take responsibility for your actions and let him decide.”

Conner took a deep breath. “You’re right, I’ll go talk to him…”

“Thank you.” Cassie replied back coldly yet sincere. Conner started to make his way out of the room. “By the way…”

Conner stopped and looked back at his former girlfriend, the slight hint of a grin starting to form on her lips. Conner knew that face, he both loved and hated it.

“Bruce likes Kori so…” Cassie said, with enough charm to not make the low blow seem malicious.

“Ouch,” Conner replied back jokingly.

“I’m just saying.” The demigoddess answered back, her faint smile still there. Conner returned one back.

\- - -

Tim felt the cool breeze of the nightly savannah run trough the landing strip Bart had buzzed off. He sighed. He knew that he might have overreacted a bit but the combined humiliation of both blowing the mission, Bruce’s disapproval and being caught with lice was enough to throw him off his cool; Bart hacking his hair off was just the last straw.

“Care if I join you?” Conner’s voice came unannounced catching him off guard, being on the receiving end of the startling was almost a foreign experience. Tim tried to keep his cool.

“It’s no like I can stop you anyways…” Tim replied, Conner proceeded with caution. “You and Bart proved that to me already.”

Conner cringed at the retort, Tim wasn’t gonna let that go anytime soon and with good reason. “I’m sorry…”

“I appreciate it but no thanks.” Tim replied cuttingly turning his back to the superhuman teen.

“You have every right to be upset… what we did was stupid and uncalled for,” Conner began, Tim remained still. “And I know you’ll probably won't talk to me in weeks if I’m lucky but hear me out. Ever since I came back, y’know for the death and all things haven’t been the same between us and I’m not talking about the big gay elephant in the room, I mean ‘us’ as in the core four us.”

Tim tried his best not to move but he knew what Conner meant. They were no longer the kids they where back when they teamed up for the first time, things became angsty and harder as the years went by but he figured it was just the natural progression of life.

“I don’t know if it’s the whole dead thing but Bart and I have tried to rekindle our old dynamics with you guys but things aren’t as fun anymore between us.” Conner continued. “And don’t get me wrong, I know both Cassie and you have gone through a lot but I thought that having the mission off our backs and having us trapped in the same place for a couple days was the perfect opportunity for us to bond like we did back in the old days…”

“I’m sorry you feel that way…” Tim replied. “But we’re no longer children Conner, the scale of things is greater. We’re no longer facing threats that involve playing baseball against evil robots or kart racing the Forever People, the world’s eyes are on us and we need to deliver.”

Conner sighed and rested his back on the rock. “I know, I just wish we’d take some time to work on ourselves, not just for the sake of fun but for the sake of… well, you.”

Tim finally turned towards him. “What do you mean?”

“Look, you might think you’re two steps ahead of everyone else but I know you Tim and lately you’ve been doing the most.” Conner began. “You’re putting too much pressure into yourself and into the rest of us that even the slightest mishap is bringing you down.”  
“A mishap would be forgetting to brush my teeth in the morning, not completely screwing up a whole operation just because I wasn’t capable of keeping a damn lice outbreak from taking over my head!” Tim answered angrily.

“I know but you gotta understand that sometimes things aren’t gonna go as planned and that’s okay!” Conner said reassuringly. “Believe me, I died and came and trust me I wasn’t planning on either of those things to happen yet here we are.”

“That’s the thing Kon, I don’t want to loose any of you guys, especially when I’m the one in charge!” Tim pleaded.

“Point taken, what I’m trying got say though is that you need to loosen up a bit. You can’t expect to be a great leader, slash Titan, slash Gotham public figure, slash boyfriend without cracking some eggs along the way.” Conner added. “You’re allowed to make mistakes.”

“Bruce didn’t train us to-“ Conner placed a finger over Tim’s lips cutting him off.

“If Batman can’t handle that then he can suck it, you deserve a break every once in a while.” Conner added. “If he has anything against that I’ll rip him a new one.”

“Alright…” Tim answered, still looking numb. “That still doesn’t excuse the fact that you two butchered my hair though.”

Conner groaned, for some reason he expected his pep talk to help sweep that under the rug but looking back at his boyfriends head he realised how unrealistic that was. “I know…”

Both of them sat next to each other in awkward silence for what felt like hours. Conner wanted to say something to lighten the mood but he felt that was neither the time nor the moment, plus Tim would probably hate him even more.

The Boy Wonder finally decided to break the ice. “Want me to make you feel even shittier?”

Conner sighed. “Sure, go ahead.”

“When I was like eight, dad’s business was struggling economically and he decided to cut down on expenses that he thought could help us save some extra bucks on.” Tim began. “We got rid of cable, hot water and other services. In a struck of genius, dad thought that he could save some money on haircuts and decided that I’d have to sport a shaved head until things got monetarily better. Kids at school made fun of me for most of the school year, I recall some of them calling me things like ‘alien’ or ‘Lex Luthor’ and that’s the tame part. Although it seems minor now, I remember begging mom not to make me go to school and crying myself to sleep at times. Kids can be extremely cruel you know?”

Conner pressed his palms against his eyes. “Okay, now I wanna die once again. Happy?”

“Slightly, but there’s more.” Tim continued.

“Ah, great.” Conner groaned.

“Fast forward some years, I’ve been Robin for a couple of years now. My first time in the Hall of Justice and I hear Vixen and Black Canary refer to me as the ‘smart Robin’, not the ‘though Robin’ like called Jason or the ‘pretty Robin’ as they did Dick, I’m the ‘smart one’ now.” Tim adds.

Conner stands up. “But I thought you took those comments as a compliment?”

“Sure, when we’re talking about skillets not appearances!” Tim replied.

“I mean, aren’t they like twice our age though? Why do you even care?” Conner asks.

Tim looks at Conner snidely. “Just last week you told me that you liked my hair longer. Why do you think I ditched my Red Robin cowl for this? Functionality?”

Conner looks at Tim sheepishly, he felt his cheeks blushing. “… you’re still pretty to me?”

Tim rolled his eyes. “Give it up Conner, we both know I don’t have Jason’s edge nor Dick’s body but at least I had the hair.”

“Hey you’re more than a great head of hair to me, besides you have the third best ass in the entire Batfam. And I’m counting the women in too.” Conner replied.

“You’re just saying that to make amends…” Tim blew him off.

“Don’t be like that Tim, what do you want me to do? Shave my head as well? Because I’ll do it!” Conner said almost threateningly.

“Nah, you’d still look good,” Tim replied. “Just like you did last time.”

Conner smirked proudly but quickly stopped once Tim noticed and glared. “Well, what then? Come on Timmy, throw me a bone here!”

Silence remained between them for a while, once again Tim was the one to interrupt it. “I… no, forget it, it’s stupid.”

“Come on!” Conner begged, approaching the Boy Wonder. “I’ll do it, for real!”

Tim gave it some more thought, then looked back at Conner. The Boy of Steel looked at him with puppy eyes. “Alright but promise me you won’t judge me for it…”

“I promise, a thousand times, I really do.” Conner pleaded.

“Remember your look back in the day…” Tim tried to stop himself but Conner urged him to continue. He proceeded sheepishly with his command. “… with the leather jacket, piercings and the undercut?”

Conner’s expression changed from that of defeat to one of embarrassment, his whole face turned red and Tim felt as his did as well. He knew it was a stupid idea but at the same time if he didn’t take the chance now he’d probably never get an opportunity like that in the future.

“Jesus Tim…” Conner replied.

“Hey, no judging remember?” Tim snapped. “What I’m trying to say is… that was a… well a look, to say the least.”

“Yeah, a bad one!” Conner replied not wanting to make eye contact due to the embarrassment.

“It’s better than a goddamned t-shirt and jeans Kon!” Tim replied defensively. “Besides… god I can’t believe I’m saying this, I always liked the bad boy look…”

“God, Bart was right…” Conner muttered, Tim raised an eyebrow almost offended.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Conner regretted his comment immediately but couldn’t help but to tell the truth at this point. “You see, once you came out about the whole also-liking-guys thing… well he made a bet with me about you having a crush on Jason…”

“Jesus Kon, he’s like a brother to me.” Tim replied.

Conner squirmed. “Okay fine, let’s go back to your bad boy fetish before we amp the awkward to incest levels.”

Tim felt his blushing skin getting warmer. “I’m just saying that you might want to give your uniform a revamp. Besides, you have the body to pull literally anything off yet you decide to hide it in a worn out tee and farmer jeans?”

“Hey! Ma says I look hip,” Conner replied self consciously. “Whatever that means…”

“Bless her, you know I love her but her idea of ‘hip’ might be a bit… outdated?” Tim replied back.

“Says the guy who wants me to go back to my look from ten years ago?” Conner retorted.

“Look, you said you were up for anything!” Tim added.

Conner sighed. “Fine… I’ll see what I can do…”

Both of them sat in silence for a while. Only the sound of the African savannah at night between them. Conner looked back at Tim, the pale stripe of freshly shorn scalp visible. Yeah, he owed Tim a big one for that. He figured that changing his uniform to an actual one would be a good idea anyways, he’d been considering it for a while now.

Before anything else could be said a speeding blur rushed by them. In a flash, Bart appeared in front of them. No Kid Flash uniform on, just wearing his regular civies, a tank top, shorts and sneakers. What caught them both off guard was something else.

“Ta-dah!” Bart announced, pointing both his hands at his completely smooth head, his wild auburn tresses where nowhere in sight. Both Conner and Tim stared at him in disbelief. “I figured I’d right some wrongs by following suit, I even went the extra mile and pulled out the razor to go for a full Luthor, no offence Kon.”

“Bart you really didn’t have to-“ Tim began but before he could finish the zooming sounds of rushing interrupted him for a slight fraction of a second.

Tim turned to his left to witness his boyfriend’s lap covered in short dark hair and his head just as smooth as Bart’s. The speedster stood where the was a seconds ago once again.

“Bart what the hell?!” Conner yelled.

“That’s the two of us now. I know it won’t make your hair grow any faster but at least you won’t have to do it alone anymore.” Bart said reassuringly. “I mean sure, our metabolisms are quicker than yours but I’m willing to keep us bald for as long as you need us.”

Conner still looked both shocked and slightly pissed but his expression quickly soften once Tim’s laughter filled the air. It had been a while since either of them heard Tim laughing that way. If anything it reminded him of the good old days. He couldn’t help but laugh along.

**Author's Note:**

> First off thank you for reading!
> 
> I'm taking elements mostly from the pre-New 52 tl but also a couple of things from post New 52/Rebirth (mainly characters like Miguel and Jackson).
> 
> I needed to quench my thirst for more of my Young Justice kids since DC doesn't seem to acknowledge them anymore.


End file.
